The Pain of Remembering
by BabyDukes
Summary: After four years away from her home Sakura returns. Can she forget the past and regain what she lost? *NaruSaku* NOT A HAREM *This story has been rewritten.Im sorry for the inconvenience*. Please re-read if you have read already. This is not NARUHINA
1. Part 1

The hokage of konaha paced sullenly back and forth before his window. He gazed out and scanned the surrounding areas for danger. This though, was routine, so much so that he wasn't even sure if he was truly looking anymore. But still... The young man let out an exasperated sigh and continued his pacing. He was twenty-six years old and he had the eyes and battle scars of some one many times his age. Not to mention a ward. He turned his head to his right where just below his desk was a chubby, raven haired baby boy.

"Daisuke"

he called to the infant who perked and turned his head curiously. Cluless to the bloodshed that had surrounded his birth so long ago. Cerulean eyes roved over Daisuke, crinkling in a smile, and in one fluid motion the blonde had scooped him up and held him close. The babe's wild hair was deeply black and beginning to take it's inherited shape. The pain of memory made him reconsider.

"No, not raven. Ravens only know to fly away. You inside you have the will of fire so it must be coal."

"U-um H-H-Hokage sama, ano.."

Hinata's timid voice trailed away as she entered upon the intimate scene.

"Oh f-forgive me sir. I-I'll come back some other time!"

Hinata turned away, milky eyes gazing longingly at the child that looked so much like its mother.

"Hinata-chan I told you call me to Naruto, I mean we've known each other since we were genin."

"N-n-naruto?"

She questioned as if this was a new concept. The idea of Calling the Hokage by his first was enough to send a tomato blush rising to her cheeks. He hadn't changed at all.

"Yes Naruto. Now tell me why you've come here. I know it must be important for the head Hyuga herself to come visit me."

Naruto winked playfully at Hinata as a secret smirk graced his lips at the sight of her deepening blush. He secretly applauded himself for still having such an effect on her. Hinata's countenance, however grew severe and Naruto followed suit. becoming increasingly wary of just how serious this could be.

"There has been a breaching of the northern entrance. One of my men spotted the intruder just minutes ago. I came has fast as I could to tell you."

"Ha! Are you telling me there's a threat so great that not even you can handle it?"

"Not can't, Shouldn't this person has an incredible amount of chakra. And they somehow slipped in undetected without using any of the gates . This could mean a ninja with intimate knowledge of the village itself. I thought it best to report to you first. In case we are dealing with Sas-."

"I see. Thank you."

Naruto's expression was unreadable as he handed Daisuke to a surprised Hintata and disappeared. Once the idea of meeting him again would have sent twinges of excitement running through his finger tips, but not anymore. This time he would kill.

The feeling of the sun on his face caused a feeling of warmth to rise within him. However, it was soon stomped down and replaced by seriousness. He had no idea what type of danger this new threat would yield and in a moment of desperation, he prayed it was not Sasuke. In all honesty he had no clue what would come of a meeting with the rouge nin. Both were such powerful ninjas that a true fight would ensure the destruction of Konohagakure and the death of many. As the Hokage he had made a promise to protect. Though he had once made a different promise to someone else. He had always been able to fulfill it. It was time to finally stop trying. Naruto appeared in a flurry of green leaves and dust, a habit he had picked up shortly before his initiation as Konoha's Hokage. Fortunately this limited his ability to see, leaving the intruders face a mystery and making it easier to kill without remorse. Something he had come to find increasingly useful. He had discarded his Hokage attire in favor of a black bandana and black shozoku. Even without his traditional robes it was clear to any with sight that he was not to be trifled with. The air became still as the leaves fell to the ground seemingly in slow motion and it was as if all that could be heard was the steady beating of each opponents' own heart. Both watched as the final leaf floated slowly down to the brown earth landing there in a feather soft kiss. It had barely brushed the ground when Naruto flicked his wrist and sent a lightning fast Rasengan towards the mysterious figure. The spiraling blue ball flew through the air only to be reflected back to the greatly surprised Hokage. This time there was no silence, in fact it was all painfully loud. Not only had this person not been hit with his attack, he had also deflected it well enough to send it flying back to his own hands. A stunned look washed over his face as he calculated exactly what this would mean for him before he opened his mouth to speak.

"Who are you? Answer me!"

"Naruto? Are you still so angry with me that you would try to kill me? Has it been so long that you could forget me, Naruto?"

The voice that spoke was sweet and soft, yet the words were laced with a meaningful sorrow. A meaning that he could not place.

"How do you know me?"

"Naruto how could you not recognize me. Of all people?"

As the dust began to clear there was slowly revealed to be the figure of a woman. With each passing moment She became more and more tangible. Bright green eyes. Pink lips drawn into a hopeful half smile. Hair that was also pink, was pulled back into a flowing ponytail and draped over her shoulder. In the palm of her outstretched hand she clutched a bright red fan decorated with a single white circle in the center. Haruno. This fan was quickly snapped shut and Naruto's gaze followed the curve of the woman's silhouette to her face. It had been four years since he had seen this face. It was a face he had yearned to forget. A face full of memories, painful ones, and triumphant ones. A face he had once kissed. A face he had tried to hate and failed. He wanted so badly to believe that she was there. A name almost foreign to his mind escaped his lips.

"Sakura?"

The face smiled and arms wrapped around him in an embrace. _When had she moved so close_? Haruno Sakura had returned, yet he was filled with a stiffness in response to her hug. Naruto found it unnerving to have the girl he had once held so much affection and hate for treating him so tenderly and he pulled away from her. Not meeting her eyes. Seeming to understand his actions Sakura took a step back, suddenly able to feel the vast void which had grown between them. As if they had never known each other at all.

"It truly has been a long time. Ne, Naruto?"

She had said his name again and he was finding that it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the beating of his heart. How long had he waited to hear that voice? Why wasn't he happy?

* * *

**Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you would like me to continue this story then please tell me in a review, even if its criticism. Tell me what you like and what you don't and I will guarantee that I will keep it going. Next chapter will be longer ^_^**


	2. Part 2

Four years. Four years since Naruto had become Hokage, four years since Sasuke had finally returned to the village, and it had been four long years since she had left all that she had ever known. It was nearly impossible for her to believe she had spent any time away from this place, her home, at all. Yet, there was a difference. Still the same place with the hustle and bustle of konoha's many streets, streets with long forgotten destinations. There were the same buildings and shops that she had never realized she had missed until she passed them by. Not until she felt the strings of her heart tug in remembrance. Everything was the same. So what was causing her to feel so out of place? Wasn't it the same village it had been four years ago? Weren't these the same people whom she had once been well acquainted with? Sakura's heart said yes, but her head said no. she could see as she passed by that Ino no longer worked at her parents flower shop and instead a mousy girl, who couldn't be any more than twelve, stood behind the Yamanaka's counter. The small ramen cart that had been run by Teuchi now stood abandoned, left by the daughter who could no longer bear the burden of her father's memory. It was a skeletal reminder that the life she knew was gone, and it would never be the same. Was there still hope for her? Maybe, if she could only remember what she once had. There was Naruto, he had always been a source of happiness for her. Though even he hadn't been able to forgive her.

"I hate remembering."

"Huh?"

Naruto had spoken. He was so still it was hard to tell that he had said anything, but by the way he stared so intently at the Ichiraku stand she could tell, just by the look on his face. Sakura decided to press this issue.

"What do you mean?"

Naruto didn't even turn to look at her but the answer he gave was as if he was staring her straight in the eye.

"I mean what I said. What good comes from it? I can't go back to the past can I?"

Sakura could feel the ice rush to her heart and time seemed to stand still. Could Naruto possibly be talking about her? Naruto's frame looked unnaturally motionless, though she was able to see the small quivers that racked his frame. Like tiny tremors these quakes went unnoticed by the naked eye. To her eye however Naruto was quite visibly shaken. Sakura laid what she hoped was a soothing hand on Naruto's shoulder, only to feel him flinch beneath the added weight. She too hated memories. If only because he was no longer the blonde boy of her childhood.

"Do you know why this stand is empty, Sakura?"

Her silence allowed him to continue.

"The stand is empty because as soon as Teuchi died Ayame left the village. She couldn't take working her father's shop without him. I don't blame her though, I understand her. I now what she went through. The way he smiled, is a memory. All of the people who came to him seeking advice. Another memory. Even the smell of the food he dedicated himself to and taught her to love, she began to hate. Can you imagine what it was like to smell ramen and know that it wasn't her father who had made it? All she wanted was to forget the pain. That's what I mean."

Naruto's voice had risen with painfully full of emotion. This had nothing to do with Ayame at all. This was completely about him. The pain she had caused him. As Naruto turned and continued to make his way to the Hokage's mansion. Sakura followed. She wanted to forget too. He couldn't even begin to realize how badly she yearned to go a single day without her memory. And as she followed him, the past followed her.

The climb to the top of the Hokage's mansion was seemingly endless. With each step Sakura took upward she was slowly coming to realize how severe this was. The sorrowful girl trying to forget the past was gone now. And in her place was was a scared kunoichi. She was considered a rogue ninja, a traitor. Not to mention the way that she had dispatched all of the Anbu teams Naruto had sent to ensure her return. She had ignored a direct order of the Hokage. Ninjas died for things like that. Surely Naruto's duties as the Hokage of Konaha outweighed their friendship, or what was left of it anyway. Suddenly the door she was once so familiar with was not far enough away. How long had it been since she'd been there, been with him? Or better yet, how long would it take to create a suitable distraction? Not as long as it would take for him to open his door or turn around to find her missing again. Sakura's brain was unable to interpret the emotions her heart was feeling. In the blink of an eye she could see in her mind's eye the happy days she had spent here. She had always enjoyed visiting Tsunade. It made her wonder if she had stayed what kind of memories would she have had with Naruto? The pinkette took a long hard look towards the door, ready to make her escape. And then a thought clicked. She did visit Naruto in his office once. The night she had left Konoha. She didn't want that to be the last time she saw it. She wouldn't run away.

"Going in Sakura?"

The sound of Naruto's voice startled sakura out of her thoughts and she realized he was holding the door open for her. He was also looking at her again. That alone told her that she had made the right choice. No matter what awaited her inside she was sure she could face it if he continued to look at her.

"Yeah, I guess I am."

The Hokage's office was exactly as she had remembered it. The same window that had often served as a perch for Kakashi, the wall lined with portraits of Hokages from one to six, the same desk forever cursed with the burden of piles of documents and scrolls to be read, but there was something different. In the center of the floor sat a small child, of no more than one. He had been contentedly enjoying an invigorating game of catch the fly before he had been interrupted. Now he sat with is eyes wide open, staring intently at this new person. Sakura's reaction to Daisuke, however, was slightly less surprised. There was little doubt who this child's father was. It was more surprising how much she had expected this from him. After all who wouldn't have expected that the first thing Sasuke did upon his return to the village was produce an heir. Not her, she wasn't so naive. Not like she used to be. Before her mind could be flooded with bitterness, Sakura knelt down to the baby's height and studied him. As She watched the small boy she reached out to touch him. He wasn't a dream. Her senses gradually took in everything it could. Her fingers told her that his hair was soft and his young skin, smooth. Her sense of smell told her of the way his breath smelled like milk and his body smelled clean. Her eyes showed her that this person had milky eyes instead of black, and as he allowed her to touch him her heart told her that this was not Sasuke. No matter what he looked like. Naruto's voice, for the second time that day brought her back to reality as she began to drift away. Was he doing this on purpose?

"His name is Daisuke in case you were wondering."

Naruto's eyes attempted to be serious, but the fondness in his smile gave him away.

"Well whatever his name is, he's adorable and exactly the type of thing we medics live for."

It was apparent that Sakura's statement had puzzled him, and his eyebrows knit together when he opened his mouth to speak.

"Medics, live for babies?"

This was a typical Naruto question and Sakura could feel her heart beat speed up in the familiarity of old times. Old times. The thought of all of Sakura's memories now being "old times" quelled her heart beat. They weren't those people anymore. There was no point in trying to make things as they once were.

"Well, I mean, treating wounds feels great and all, but truly what a medic becomes a medic for is life. Bringing in new life, and saving old life. But always life."

Never before would Sakura have felt that Naruto's gaze could bring a blush to her face, but now as she stood before him and he watched her with such a look of fascination that soon she noticed her cheeks felt abnormally hot. She gulped, suddenly nervous.

"Wow Sakura I guess I never really knew you at all."

It wasn't until after these words had sprung forth that Sakura realized what Naruto had just said. Never really knew her? It was an odd feeling to know where she stood with him and then find that she didn't like where she stood at all. It was too late though and both the Hokage and the rogue ninja were quiet. Each distracted by there own thoughts. Eager to end the silence, and the newly discovered disappointed feeling settling in her gut, Sakura drew away from Daisuke and seated herself in a chair.

"Ok Naruto I'm ready. Give it to me."

Sakura found no joy in what she had said and yet here Naruto was finding it hard to hide a smile? Where had the stiff and serious man gone? The change in him had been like night and day. As if just being in the same room as Daisuke had opened up the heart he'd closed to her.

"Give what to you?"

"My punishment. I know that I am a defector and I know that I disobeyed a direct order from the Hok- you."

"Sakura, I've lost too many people that I've cared about. When you left. I thought that I hated you. I thought that you had done it on purpose, waiting til I became Hokage because you knew I couldn't chase you. If I had my way You would never have made it out of Fire country. As it is, you made your own choices. And now I will make mine."

He was quiet for a moment. Gazing at Daisuke in thought.

"I want you to come live with in me in order to watch over and protect Daisuke. I fear that he will soon be in danger and I simply am unable to be with him and be Hokage all at once. As of now I am his only guardian. If you will do this for me, I will not punish you for your crimes."

"But Naruto. What kind of danger could a one year old possibly come under? I don't understand. Why are you raising Sasuke's child? Where is he?" .

"This is not about Sasuke. It's about Daisuke. And right now he needs you... I need you too. You know that I would't ask if this wasn't important to me. If he wasn't important to me. You have till the end of the day to make your decision.

Daisuke began to fuss and Naruto turned on his heel towards the baby. No hesitation. It came naturally._ As if he was his own son._

A/N: The plot thickens... Mwahaha, *chokes and coughs* Please review.


	3. Part 3

The rest of the day proved to be uneventful, and as Naruto sat quietly at his desk Sakura slowly rocked Daisuke in her arms. Neither had spoken a word in hours. The weight of what had just transpired between them was still heavy in the air. As the sun had finally begun to set Naruto looked up from a pile of papers he had been busy reading over.

"Sakura look, it's getting late. You should take Daisuke to your old house with you for now. I haven't prepared any accommodations for you in my house so I'll have to ask you to stay there for now. I'll come pick him up later."

Sakura froze. She hadn't seen her old house in years. It was true that she had moved out of her family home and into her own house, but she still wasn't sure if she cared to be all alone in what had now become such an unfamiliar place. Her worry evident, Naruto's look softened slightly and he attempted to comfort her.

"Sakura you remember your way home, right? You should find that everything is exactly as you left it. Well, everything but the dust."

And that was that. Naruto could say things with the utmost conviction when he really gave it some effort. But it was never as if she had any choice in the first place. She couldn't stay with him in the office all night. Or could she? No, she certainly could not. Where were these thoughts coming from. She sighed, had she always been this weak? Yes, but not for Naruto for _him_. She had been weak the moment she looked at him and wished that she could heal whatever was causing his broken heart. She had always been weak for him, so that he could be strong. A man that held no promises, no love, no hope. She had always fallen hard when it came to him. And when she fell she didn't fall gracefully and catch herself. She tripped and fell flat on her face while everyone around her laughed. They were still laughing... She was going to be sick. Lost in her disgust, Sakura began to recognize objects as she passed by. She noticed the trees, with flowers she never knew the name of, was in bloom, the wooden ninja toys were still strewn across the dirt road, and every daisy she had planted still stood in full bloom. Wait a minute, _**she**_ had planted? Sakura stood before the house she was meant to call home and eyed it suspiciously. While daisies were her favorite flower she had never planted any, she had always been too busy for such trivial things. They did look nice though. As she made her reluctant way towards her front door she couldn't help but notice that her grass had been cut, and it had been cut recently. The smell of grass clippings still lingered in the air. Had someone moved in while she had been MIA? No. Her experience as a medic told her that there was no life within this house. Then who? Her question was still unanswered as she stepped through the doorway to find a completely spotless house.

"'Everything but the dust'? Was it my house he was talking about?"

Her house was exactly as she had left it, literally. Not a thing had changed, not even the tiny potted cactus. There was an odd sense of deja vu as explored. The entire house was bathed in the residue of a chakra that was familiar, but Sakura denied that she recognized it. It almost hurt to even think for a moment who would have done this for her. Daisuke let out small yawn and Sakura decided it was time for a nap, for both of them. It came as no surprise to her that her bed was made just the way she liked and the linens were clean. All that came as surprise now was the sudden wave of exhaustion that hit her when she saw her bed. She lay down beside the sleeping infant, tucking him safely away in her arms, and fell asleep.

The scene Naruto came across was surprising to say the least, the very least. There lay Daisuke and Sakura. Daisuke, who had been sucking his thumb, had cuddled up to the sleeping Sakura, who in turn had held him gently to her. If he didn't know better he could swear that she was his mother. Naruto hated having to wake the pair up, but it was already 11:00 and he knew that Sakura would be less than pleased if she woke with baby drool in her hair.

Someone was rocking her. Very gently at first, but then a little rougher. Sort of like shaking. But who would be shaking her? Couldn't they tell she was asleep? Honestly, some people had no regard for the sleep of others. A voice was saying something, it was gentle, and yet firm? It was an odd, but she almost could almost swear she recognized the voice. Like she had heard it many times before. Sakura opened her eyes to find a shadowy figure leaning over her body and lightly shaking her back and forth. In the darkness all she could make out were the colors of his robe.

"Naruto what are you doing here?"

She couldn't tell what kind of face he was making, but she could imagine how he must have looked at her. She had forgotten about Daisuke.

"I'm here to get Daisuke, like I said I would."

Naruto scooped up the still sleeping Daisuke and headed for the doorway. As he left he tossed a thanks her way and closed the door. Sakura lay there. Soaking up everything that had happened in that day. She eventually came to the conclusion that she missed Naruto. If Naruto was anything like her, he felt the same way. Eventually he would ask her. He would want to know why she had left village and not returned. What could she tell him? It wasn't something she liked to relive. Would he even be able to understand? Would he even care? An image of his face came to his mind. The look of relief that had been there when he realized that she had returned was unmissable, even though he had tried to hid his true feelings. Of course he would care. A new feeling washed over her. One of dread. Naruto may forgive her one day, but how could she ever forgive herself? She couldn't. With that thought, and a sickness she new well in her stomach, Sakura went back to sleep.

The next morning it seemed as if the universe had finally decided to turn against her once and for all. She awoke to the blood curdling screech of an alarm clock which had mysteriously been placed directly on her pillow, and after she had fallen out of her bed, flailing and kicking about in the sheets, she watched the near demonic red numbers flash 5:00 am. Surely this was a cruel practical joke Kami had decided to play on her. Hadn't she been through enough? Despite the mangled remains of the doomed clock hanging sadly from a tree branch, Sakura couldn't shake the feeling that she hadn't gotten the upper hand on the universe just yet. Her feet seemed heavy and clunky as she made her way down the steps, and a passing glance in a mirror told her all there was to know about how well her beauty sleep went. She was going to scream in 3.. 2.. Wait a minute. The pinkette had nearly been in the process of belting out her best impersonation of a banshee when she noticed a pair of pearly white eyes watching her. The would have been scream trickled away and she was left as what she was sure was a horrifying sight. Completely unaware of how close he was to witnessing a grown woman lose her mind, Daisuke cooed and clapped his hands. At least someone found her despair funny.

"What am I going to do with a baby?"

She asked the ceiling. Almost as if she was receiving a sign, Sakura noticed a sheet of paper on her table. Immediately recognizing the messy style writing of Naruto everything was begining to fall into place.

_Sakura_

_if you recall our talk yesterday, you agreed to look after Daisuke for me. I set your alarm for five so Daisuke has been alone about three minutes. Please feed him. Bring Daisuke to my office around eight._

_Naruto._

The baby's stomach growled hungrily and Sakura picked up a can of smashed peas and a baby spoon she had never seen before. She hesitantly unscrewed the cap and peered inside. It smelled terrible. Would he really eat this? Sakura picked up a spoonful of the mush and slowly ushered it to the infant's mouth. She was sure that she had succeeded when all of the food previously in his mouth dribbled out. This was going to be a longer day than she had originally foreseen.

Somewhere along the course of the day Sakura had grown tired of her house and was now, in the park as her charge crawled around chasing ducks. What if someone saw her? Or worse what if someone saw her with Daisuke? How would they react to the traitor playing babysitter to the beloved son of their Hokage. Talk about scandalous... Oh well. What choice did she have? As she watched Daisuke Sakura couldn't help but feel as if someone was watching her too. It was only a sneaking suspicion, but she just couldn't help it. It was like some malevolent force had taken an interest in her. Or Daisuke! It had not occurred to Sakura that she had used chakra enhanced speed until after she had scooped up the boy and retreated to the busy streets of Konoha.

"Sakura? I never thought I'd see you again."

The pretty face of Ino Yamanaka appeared behind Sakura. She was holding a bouquet of flowers in her hands and when she saw that Sakura had noticed them she hid them behind her back. They stayed like that. Both girls unsure if the other was real.

"Ino-"

" So did you, you know, do what you needed to do?"

Sakura quivered at the implications of Ino's question sank in. It was a good question, and easy to answer. So why was Sakura having such a hard time finding the words to respond?

"Its ok. I can guess the answer. You got a lot stronger, I can tell."

Ino led Sakura to a small apartment not far from her family's flower shop. After setling Daisuke with warm milk and her old toys she sat beside Sakura. A lone tear made it's way down her cheek. The reality of her best friend's situation was just past the limit of reality Ino had ever liked to live in. As she felt Sakura shudder with silent sobs it was just enough that Ino realized how strong she would have to be for her. To any outsider it would seem as if Sakura was crying for no reason. Nothing was wrong externally. Internally however, Sakura was crying for everyday in the past that she had wasted. Everyday that had been taken and was not going to comeback. Her life, gone, and now she was left with a past that accompanied sad memories and bitter endings. She was crying for the loss of Naruto's trust, the fact that the biggest mistakes she had ever made would be a constant reminder of what she might of had. That and the loss of something special, something she would never get back. She also cried out of fear. The very real fear that a certain someone would find her. That was something she wasn't sure she could handle. As many times as she had ever cried, she had never before had such a good reason. As Ino's thumb wiped the tears away from Sakura's face Daisuke busied himself chewing on a doll's leg. It was not until she cast a glance at him gnawing happily that Ino even though to mention him.

"Sakura. What are you doing with Daisuke?"

"Naruto said he needs my help in taking care of him, since he's a single parent. What I can't understand is where his mother is. She's obviously a Hyuga. Why can't she take care of him?"

Sakura looked down at Daisuke who seemed to have picked up on the fact that he was being talked about and his gaze was now focused squarely on the two females. Ino on the other hand remained silent.

"I think that's something you'll have to learn from Naruto."

"You haven't lost him, you know. He'll come around. Maybe if you tell-"

"Stop Ino. Ok? Just stop. You know that I could never do that to him. I would never get over the guilt."

Sakura turned her head and closed her eyes. Shutting in her tears. Tired of thinking about the past. Ino seemed to pick up on her mood and instead turned to Daisuke

"Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, Sakura, he looks so much like him."

"Its fine. I can't blame the son for the sins of his father."

They both went quiet. The secret shared between them holding them together in a bond. Ino understood and Sakura knew she understood. Without even speaking she knew that Ino had been the one to take care of her house.

"Thanks Ino pig."

Ino crinkled her brow in annoyance, before eventually smilling.

"No problem Billboard brow."

The day continued on much like that. Both women watching Daisuke and seeing the resemblance he bore. Both trying to deny how scared they were he would share more than that with his father. Each fearful and yet calmed by the other. Not much had changed between them except the way they communicated.

"At first I was jealous of you. When you told me I was actually angry that he had chosen you. God Sakura I was so stupid. When you left I thought it was because of me. It wasn't til later that I understood. Naruto will be the same way, trust me. He'll understand"

It comforted her more than anything to learn that she still had a friend left. Even if the village turned it's back on her she still had Ino. Night fell and Sakura went on her way, content to have had such a promising day. It was time to return Daisuke and as cute as he was Sakura was glad to finally be able to get some rest. She pushed open the door to Naruto's office only to be greeted by Hinata. The cold look that she received from the Hyuga informed her that this would not be another chance encounter like she had with Ino. Hinata immediately reached out and plucked Daisuke from Sakura's arms.

"Hello Sakura. How nice of you to return finally"

** I hope you enjoy it. Hina may seem a little OOC, but hey if everyone else grows up then why not her? **


	4. Part 4

Th pearled gaze of one Hyuga Hinata was the last thing Sakura had expected to see upon her entrance to Naruto's office. She stood tall and erect before Naruto. Confidence and pride obvious from her stance. It had been a very long time since she'd seen Hinata. Longer than the four years she had been away. Hinata had changed very little since assuming her role as the head of the Hyuga clan. Sakura thought back to the last time she seen her former friend.

_It had been a very long and elegant evening and Sakura couldn't help but feel out of place. She had been happy that Hinata had finally proved herself to her father and inherited his position. She wanted to support her. Yet... It nagged in the back of her mind. This was Hinata's world. Noblemen and foreign dignitaries. Wealth, power, opulence. It was all so much. Sakura had never realized exactly how prominent the Hyuga clan was in the world and as she stood amidst a see of well dressed guests she felt inferior. From her dress, to her jewlery, to her family. All of it was beneath these people. Even the rest of the rookie nine and Gai's team seemed to fit in better than her. They all came from well known families. Except for Tenten and Lee of course. They had both left after the succession ceremony though. Sakura dejectedly picked at her faded pink kimono. It was fairly old, but the best she had. Hinata stood at the center of the room surrounded by admirers. Her bluish black tresses wrapped into an elegant up-do. White silk kimono embroidered with pale blue lilies. Sakura couldn't deny that she was beautiful. Silently slipping from her crowded place in the middle of the room Sakura began to wander absentmindedly through the people and eventually found herself outside in the courtyard of the Hyuga compound. As the pinkette took in the moonlight she heard someone approaching from behind. Quickly she plastered a fake smile on her face and turned to face the intruder. As the medic turned cautiously she met the milky eyes non other than of Hinata Hyuga herself. The smile faded from Sakura's lips as she recognized the pained expression on Hinata's face._

_"Why did you come here Sakura?"_

_"What?"_

_Hinata's voice broke painful on the question. Her pale skin glowing iridescently in the moonlight. It made Sakura think of the time she found Sasuke attempting to leave the village. Hinata wore the same expression Sakura did then. Heartbroken.  
_

_"Did you know what would happen? Did you want to witness my rejection?"_

_"Hinata... If its about Naruto I-"_

_"You, what? Don't love him? That much is apparent. You don't deserve him Sakura."_

_The tears trickled slowly down Hinata's cheeks. Something in Sakura felt the need to wipe the tears a way. The last remaining ties of their friendship perhaps, but she knew at this point Hinata would deny anything Sakura offered. A wind blew past them and ruffled Hinata's hair. Had she confessed to Naruto again? The desperate way Hinata was struggling to contain her emotions prompted Sakura to turn away. This scene was too real. These words sounded so familiar. Her history with Ino repeating itself right before her eyes.  
_

_"I'm the one who loves Naruto-kun! I'm the one who cares for him! You only hold him back!"_

_Sakura remained silent, trying not to wince at the bitter resentment in Hinata's bell-like voice._

_"Still. Even now he only wants you!"_

_A growing silence enveloped them. Wind, moon, leaves. All silent and still. Sakura's back still faced the Hyuga leader. She wanted to say something. Anything, but words failed her. Everything just felt so final. _

_"Hinata."_

_Hanabi's voice called from a distance. The contrast between the hard silence of the courtyard and the joyful noise coming from the party, Hinata's party, clashed and Sakura felt her stomach lurch sluggishly. Despite her sudden sickness, Sakura did not move. Not even as Hinata turned to leave. Not even as jade eyes threatened to spill over with tears. It was not until she was sure Naruto had gone back into the party that Sakura allowed herself to move. To run away from that silence and never look back.  
_

Hinata had not changed from that night. She was still beautiful, still sad. For a moment Sakura imagined that the ice in her gaze faltered, but as quickly as it had gone it returned.

"I'll put Daisuke to bed tonight Naruto. Think about what I said."

Hinata silently moved past Sakura with a drowsy Daisuke in her arms. Neither women acknowledged one another. Neither raised eyes to see the other. Yet all the silence and stillness of the past had come back. Sakura looked to Naruto, remembering that he had secretly watched the final exchange between Hinata and Sakura. If he was aware of anything he didn't let on. Just continued to sign documents.

"You know you can sit down Sakura."

Naruto spoke suddenly, breaking the silence, and causing Sakura to release the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. Slowly she moved to sit down. The hard wooden chair beneath her was less than an ideal place to rest, but it didn't sound like she had much of an option in the matter. The blonde continued to scribble furiously on the documents before him for a moment longer, before pausing to fix Sakura with a stare.

"You can go home now Sakura. Hinata is taking care of Daisuke tonight."

"Oh I know."

Silence. Naruto continued to stare at the pinkette and she cast her gaze downward.

"Well...?"

"Huh? Oh I'm fine thanks. This chair is really... Comfy..."

For some reason Sakura's body found it necessary to wriggle uncomfortably in the chair at that moment. Her bottom had gone numb.

"That chair is comfy? You mean the chair I purposely put in here to deter people from staying too long is... Comfy?"

Sakura was met by his incredulous gaze and gave up.

"Well I don't actually want to go home just yet."

"Didn't we talk about this the other night? I thought yo-"

"I'm lonely there. I haven't been there so long, it doesn't feel like home anymore."

Naruto sighed and brought the tips of his fingers together in a triangle. Something he had picked up from Tsunade, Sakura mused.

"You can't stay in my office Sakura. I have to go home too."

Dejectedly Sakura stood up, albeit with slight discomfort, and made her way to the door.

"Maybe you could spend the night at the Namikaze compound? Just until we get things sorted out for you special situation"

The pinkette turned a hopeful gaze to Naruto and for a moment found the Naruto of her youth sitting in the Hokage's place. Foxy grin in place. Warmth spread itself through her body and to her tingling fingertips. The real Naruto had returned to her vision, but the feeling remained.


	5. Part 5

Naruto had told her to prepare an overnight bag and meet him at 9 o'clock. When she left the Hokage's office she felt a little more than nervous to be honest. She had never spent the night in a man's home before. Not even his. Even though they would be in seperate rooms and that man happened to be Naruto. It still left a fluttery feeling in the pit of her stomach. Why? It was only Naruto after all. It wasn't like he was going to jump her or anything...right? No! It was the same guy she knew before. At least mostly. Everyone changed eventually. Even her.

The single bag Sakura carried was incredibly light. It was kind of the problem though. She had exactly five outfits she could change into. The rest had been gradually lost to the effects of wear and tear. That was one of the problems with being a rogue nin. You didn't get a lot of chances to replace your clothes. She just wished her bag didn't feel so empty, emptiness would drive her insane, and the rain wasn't helping either. The konoha sky was a dull color of gray and the rain poured down hard, and thick. There was no chance she would make it to Naruto's place and avoid becoming wet. Especially with no umbrella. Why did she care though? She had been rained on before. So what if her hair would smell like wet dog and her dress gave her a rather unflattering shape when it was wet and who really cared anyway if her nose was dripping and her eyes were red. Not her, but maybe... Naruto? Her face paled at the thought. Why did the first time she had been invited to his home have to be the day she looked her worst and felt even worse than that? Hinata wouldn't have this problem. Her hair and clothes would cling to her body and she would smell like rain and... When the heck did Hinata get so voluptuous anyway? At least Ino had always been pretty, so there were no surprises. Another sigh.

"You seem to be sighing a lot more than I remember." the voice came from somewhere in the distance and the rain made it nearly impossible to see anything, but Sakura knew Naruto's voice.

"Have I?" She answered listlessly, unaware of the way he was studying her. There was pause as Naruto walked closer. She could see that he was carrying a bright orange umbrella emblazoned with the Uzamaki clan symbol in his hand. The longing she felt for such a thing to keep her dry reached an all time high as the rain seemed to pour down even harder. She wasn't left wanting long though, much to her surprise Naruto extended his arm and held the umbrella over her head. The closest thing Sakura could manage to a semi-intelligent response to Naruto was her mouth formed into the shape of an O. Her surprised look was more than enough to prompt a blush to rise to Naruto's cheeks as he looked away from her questioning gaze.

"Geez. Don't look so surprised Sakura. Did you really expect me to let you wonder around in the rain? I'm the Hokage. I kind of have to be more considerate than that."

"I knew you didn't have an umbrella so I thought that it would be nice. I thought I might get a kiss for it."

Mock hurt was intlected in his voice and for a moment Sakura believed that she had truly hurt his feelings. That is until he burst out laughing. As he laughed out loud Sakura too was left with a salmon blush painted on her cheeks. It was surprising to say the least that she had forgotten about his sense of humor. Everything between them lately had been so serious that Naruto's smiling face was like a ghost of the past. When had his devious behavior had such an effect on her? She was a grown woman blushing like a first year academy student. At that moment Sakura brushed the damp stands of hair from her face and allowed herself to sneak a peek at Naruto's face. It wasn't like he had never asked for a kiss before. Why had this time been different? When Naruto felt Sakura's intense gaze on his face he stopped laughing and turned to meet it. She seemed so rattled by his comment that it reminded him of their situation. She probably wasn't in the mood for jokes. Though he had been half expecting her to punch him or something. When had he ever caused Sakura to blush?

"Relax Sakura, I was only joking." he gave her his best and brightest "winning smile" but she only furrowed her brow and bit her bottom lip. She must have been thinking about some thing very troubling in order to make that face. However her face eventually returned to normal and she turned to him.

"I knew you were joking." She answered cooly, and marched ahead. Naruto watched as she picked up her pace and sped ahead of him. He would never understand women. Sakura stopped and whipped her head from side to side. She had no clue where she was going.

The young man made a mental note 'Scratch that. Women he understood. He would never understand Sakura'.

The pair walked side by side in silence. Naruto holding the umbrella and Sakura attempting to sneak glances at his face without him noticing. Their surrounding shrouded by rain and a general grey film that had fallen over everything. As the compound slowly came into view Sakura had to admit that it was the largest compound she had been to in a very long time. She hadn't visited anywhere like it since that very last evening at the Hyuga compound. Somehow seeing Naruto's family home made Sakura see for the first time what other people saw in Naruto. Not a boyish young man who just happened to be Hokage, but a Hokage who just happened to have some boyish qualities. It was also the first time she realized how handsome he looked. Something that still made her feel more than a little uncomfortable. Noticing her silence Naruto cleared his throat.

"I had it built a few years back. The old one was pretty beat up. You know, since no one was here." He rubbed the back of his head rather bashfully. What can I say, my dad left me a small fortune. Being Hokage doesn't pay too horribly either."

The next morning Sakura opened her eyes the sight that greeted her was an unfamiliar one. She had been having a nightmare and it certainly didn't help to wake up somewhere you were unsure of. Though, in all honesty, it was the kind of room you dreamed about when you were young. The large window had been left open, allowing for a gentle breeze to blow in. The white curtains billowed in a breezily rather elegantly, like something out of a laundry detergent commercial. The room was, more than likely, larger than her kitchen, she mused.

"And this bed has to be expensive." The down comforter was spread thickly over the mattress, like cream cheese frosting over an angel food cake. Wait a minute. Angel food cake? Her stomach let out a long groan and Sakura slapped her forehead. She had forgotten to eat again last night. It wasn't unusual that she had forgotten to eat, in fact, these days it was a normality. One that had obviously been abandoned by her body. As she slipped out of her bed and left her room she peeked back at her bed. Yup, it had a dust ruffle too. It was obvious she didn't belong there. Glaringly so. Sure she was supposed to be helping him with Daisuke and she only technically spent the night because he had taken pity on her as his friend, but what kind of friend would she be if she ruined his reputation? Ino had told her how people had begun to talk. They said horrible things about her relationship with Naruto, most of those things were about how he was being too easy on her. It was suggested that he still loved her so he was giving her a free ride. She had been back in the village for three days now and she had already managed to tarnish his spotless image. What would be said once the village got word that he had allowed her to spend the night with him? He really had no clue when it came to self image. Or more likely he didn't care. When she thought of it like many in many ways it seemed he was still her Naruto, at least when she ignored the last four years of her life he was.

After wandering Aimlessly the kunoichi finally settled down onto the back porch. She had been watching a pair of birds build their nest when a throat was cleared behind her. Shaggy unkempt blonde hair spike in all directions and a few strands were ruffled gently in the morning breeze as Naruto took a seat beside his pink haired friend. However, she soon broke the peace.

"Naruto, where did Daisuke come from?"

It was hard to tell if she had been heard or not. Naruto's face remained unchanged as he looked out over his property. Her stomach tightened painfully. Two possibilities stuck out in her mind. Neither of which she liked. Naruto's eyes grew sad and heavy.

"You already know that don't you? He's Sasuke's son obviously."

"Well... There are other options, but I wanted to make sure I was right before I decided that Sasuke was the dead beat I always knew him to be."

Sakura shifted uncomfortably and settled her eyes on a slow moving trail of ants on the ground.. Sasuke had always been a tough subject for her and speaking about his baby only made her feel uneasy.

"Well he's not a dead beat exactly. He was doing alright for himself for awhile. He just had difficulty readapting to village life after so long."

"Is Hinata his mother?"

When Sakura didn't receive an answer she looked up from her ant trail to Naruto. He had busied himself in the same trail of ants she had been following.

"No. She's gone. It's my fault really, for letting it happen. I should have known that he couldn't change so easily."

Naruto's face was guilt ridden. He wrung his hands in a nervous fashion as he continued his story.

"Sasuke still needed an heir and of course he wouldn't have anything less than a bloodline trait. Hinata agreed naturally. She couldn't say no to the only surviving Uchiha, could she? But at the last minute Hanabi volunteered. She felt marrying Sasuke would distract Hinata from her clan duties. Sasuke married Hanabi and for a time I assumed they were happy. I didn't realize my mistake until it was too late. Sasuke still needed her so he could have more kids, but Hanabi hated him and tried to leave. New born baby and all, and Sasuke didn't take too kindly to that. Even though she hid well enough, it was only a matter of time before he found her By the time I caught up to them she was already dead. I took Daisuke from him and told him to leave. Hinata and I thought that incase he came back her nephew would be safer with me. I won't let him create another sad story."

The story whipped around her mind in a tumultuous storm as she digested it. Hanabi was, dead? The pain that Naruto had endured without her seemed unreal. She began to hate herself for leaving Naruto to face that alone.

Hinata returned later that morning with Daisuke and Naruto left Sakua with the young boy a few hours later. He smiled and tossed her a wink as he closed the door behind him. Sakura bounced Daisuke in her arms, hoping he wouldn't cry. He merely cooed happily though. Afer hearing about Sasuke she was glad that his child still had his health.


	6. Part 6

Never before had Sakura felt like an outsider in the village hidden in the leaves. She had traveled many places and experienced the feeling of being unwelcome many times over, but never before from this village. '_Her_' village. Yet, as the pinkette strolled along the busy street that was the Konoha market place with a sleepy Daisuke swaddled neatly in her protective arms, that's exactly what she felt. Each set of eyes that followed her more accusing than the last. The further Sakura made her way down the street the more she couldn't help but feel like a fish out of water. Every head seemed to turn in her direction, vendor and customer alike, eyes moved along with the progress she made. Harsh and hurried whispers came in short and sudden bursts before evaporating in her wake as she passed by. Her pink hair had often warranted a few looks, but never disdain. They were all speaking about her. She could feel it.

"-Traitor-."

"-that the Hokage's son?"

"-Traitor-"

"-can't be trusted with him-"

"-Traitor-"

"-should be in prison. I-"

"What on Earth was Naruto thinking? That traitor should be in prison."

It was too much. The villagers, the village. All of it. Before another accusing word could reach her ears Sakura fled down a side street, running as if for her life with the hot glares of judgement branded into her retreating back. A cry broke her shame. Not particularly loud, but needing. She had woken Daisuke and probably scared him with her sudden running. His watering eyes bringing the eerily similar image of Hinata's crying face to her mind. That long ago memory, the last remaining one of a broken bond. It made her wonder. Had she stayed in the village would Daisuke be her child? Would Hanabi still be alive? What about Naruto? Would he still see her as his friend? No, he wouldn't. Not if he knew the truth. How could he ever care for someone so weak? Sakura began to gently rock the fussing baby until he was silent once more. She needed to talk to Naruto.

Hinata Hyuga had been raised to resent the weak. That used to include herself. If there was one thing that her father had attempted to prepare her for, it was the weakness of the members of her clan. That was why she, as a leader, had to be strong. To ensure the mutual strength of her clan. Despite all of his emphasis on the strong and the weak, however, Hiashi never explained to her how to tell the difference between the two. Was she strong for continuing to chase after Naruto, or was she weak for not getting over him? Was Sakura strong for having the courage to leave the village, or was she weak for running from her demons? Even Naruto, the man she was sure she loved, brought questions to her mind. Was he a strong Hokage for not punishing Sakura harshly even though that's what was favored by most in the village, or was he weak for succumbing to past feelings for her? None of it made any sense at all. Especially when Hinata considered her last conversation with the young Hokage.

'_She had been standing silently outside of his office for a little over fifteen minutes. It wasn't that she was scared, she was the Hyuga clan leader, she feared nothing. But maybe... unsure? Unsure was a more suitable word. It had been so long since she'd spoken to him abou... more personal issues. She didn't want to be the Hinata that couldn't speak when he was near. She had to show him that she was strong and worthy of him. Hinata's hand gripped the door knob. For a brief second she grimaced at the white knuckles and quivering fingers, but she pushed this aside and opened the door. Naruto was hunched over his desk. His blonde hair seemed considerably more shaggy than usual and she supposed it was because of the angle he was tilting his head. It flopped and poked out in just about every direction, so much so that it seemed a wonder to Hinata he could see anything at all. The messy hair trembled slightly as Naruto continued to scribble his name on various documents. Had he not heard her enter?_

_"Shikamaru, I told you that I would have the documents ready by tomorrow morning."_

_Hinata's white eyes widened in surprise before she thought it best to alert him of her arrival and coughed delicately into her hand. He looked up suddenly, wild blonde locks spilling into his face, but even with his face covered by hair Hinata could still see the brilliant smile that lit his features. It made her feel silly and girlish. Not strong and confident._

_"Hey Hinata. Hehe sorry about that. Shikamaru's been bugging me for this paperwork all day long. I thought it was him coming to ask for it again. What brings you here?"_

_Naruto's voice seemed warmer than it had been in the past few days and the look on his face was the look of a teasing friend. Despite this, or rather because of it Hinata felt the need to be on her toes._

_"Hokage sam- Naruto. I've come to speak to you about something very important."_

_"Sure. What is it Hinata?"_

_Hinata breathed deeply before she schooled her features into a poker face that rivaled Neji's. It was now or never._

_"Naruto. I have come to ask for your hand in marriage."_

_"My... hand in marriage? Hinata..."_

_"I understand this is sudden, but I feel that it is what would be best for Daisuke. Especially if He is going to return as expected. Daisuke will need a mother in his life and even though I agreed it would be best if you raised him as your son, I am still his aunt and I want what is best for him."_

_Naruto was silent and his eyes were tinted with some thought unknown to Hinata. He took a deep breath and exhaled heavily._

_"I know Hinata. Just give me some time."_

_Hinata paused, feeling a familiar chakra signature approach the door._

_"Naruto, if you're waiting for her. You should know that she'll be gone as soon as he comes back."_

_The door opened and Sakura entered.'_

It was late when the young Hokage had finally finished the day's paperwork and returned to the Namikaze compound. Though he was tired, the thought of sleep seemed unappealing to him. Like Hinata, Naruto had also been contemplating his last encounter with the Hyuga clan leader. Mainly, her last warning sentence. "She'll be gone as soon as he comes back"... What was that supposed to mean? Asking Sakura herself what was meant seemed the most logical solution, but what if he didn't really want to know? He would just open up his mouth and say? What? 'Why did you come back? You must have thought that you would be punished upon your arrival and since no one was sure if you were dead or alive, there wasn't a good chance anyone would have come looking for you. So naturally my curiosity has been piqued.' Yeah sure. That would work. Naruto approached the door to Daisuke's room and upon opening it, he found her standing beside the baby's crib. She seemed to have been thinking about something, her eyes almost shining in the dim lit. She smiled at him, bright and insincere.

"Naruto... Can we talk?"

Just then. What was that? Had her voice cracked when she'd said his name? Wordlessly Naruto, glanced at his sleeping son before leading her to his room. Almost immediately upon the closing of his door the false smile that had been forced onto Sakura's face dropped. It had given away nothing and rivaled even Sai's, yet Naruto didn't understand what reason she could possibly have for putting up such a front. That is until Sakura fell to the floor onto her knees. It was as if whatever power had previously been supporting had suddenly left her.

"Naruto. I cant do this anymore. I cant keep pretending that I'm ok."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't belong here anymore. Even the villagers think so. They want me punished. Naruto, I want to protect you. They say things and I couldn't bear to hear them whisper about you like they do me."

Naruto took hold of both of Sakura's hands and pulled her to her feet, but did not let go of her hands once she was up.

"Sakura, that's my decision. Whether or not the villagers agree doesn't matter. Do you know why I didn't punish you? It was because of what Kakashi sensei said to me once. He said that once people started running it just meant that they were looking for something, but once they found what they were looking for they would come back. Why should you be punished for needing more than the village could give you? I know that its not a popular decision, and it doesn't apply to every situation, but its my decision and I stand by it. Its the same reason I didn't punish Sasuke when he returned. I think he's still looking for something though."

Naruto took in the loose tendrils of her messy ponytail and the dark circles around her eyes. It was difficult to believe that this was the same woman he had know just a few years ago. Confidence had disappeared from her entire demeanor yet the sadness remained. As Sakura sat shaking next to him, hesitating to speak, he could see her lips were moving, but the sound was nearly inaudible. Naruto's ears strained to catch a hint of what she was saying

"I wish so badly that I could say that I came back because I felt I was finally strong enough to stand beside you, but I have to say this. I left because I couldn't handle the pain anymore. The pain of failing Kakashi Sensei, and the pain of - ."


	7. Part 7

A/N: *sigh* this story gives me headaches... Of love... And nausea.

**Four years ago **

It was Monday morning, the first day of Sakura's work week. Yet, she was slumped over the bed of a patient. Normally she would have been in her bed fast asleep, but this particular patient warranted special care. Kakashi Hatake had been laying in hospital room 34 B for the past six months and it was unlikely he was ever waking up. Still, she had to try. No. Not try. It was a need. Urgent and desperate within her. A need that had consumed her heart and ripped her to shreds because she knew she couldn't succeed. Tsunade had passed years ago, and as her apprentice Sakura became the chief of medicine in Konoha's hopital. Despite that, the doubt in her mind made Sakura wish that Shizune had accepted the job instead. Sakura had tried everything. She had gleaned every drop of knowledge that her brain possessed, read every book that she got her hands on, and consulted with medics from other villages. Nothing worked but to further lower the hopes of the villagers that their Hokage was ever waking up. In her heart she knew that she was no Tsunade. She wasn't even Shizune as far as she was concerned. Maybe if it had been one of them to treat Kakashi the situation would be different. They would probably have figured something out by now. In the months she had spent doing reaseach none of it had even a shred of anything to say about comas induced by a mixture of head trauma and genjutsu. She had never even known there could be such a thing.

Each passing failure made what was being said about her when her back was turned seem more and more true. They spoke in low, delicate, whispers about how she was nowhere near a competent enough medic to take on such an important task. 'Chief Medic?" they scoffed, 'She's no Hinata. They murmured these doubts about her and then snickered as they slowly watched her fail. The gossip didn't bother her though. Nothing that could be said about her could match how she felt.

She was killing him. That's the way she saw it. Everyday he slipped further and further away from coming back. Everyday his chances of survival became slimmer and slimmer. She had been told numerous times to simply pull the plug, but she had always refused. How could she? How could she simply give up on him? Kakashi looked very peaceful. It was hard not to believe that he was merely sleeping and any minute now he would awaken. Any minute now he would wake up and smile. Any minute now he would wake up and apologize for the way he ignored her potential when she was a genin and needed him. This time she wouldn't blow him off. This time she wouldn't lose him forever. A thick glistening tear rolled down her cheek, but was quickly wiped it away.

"I'm so sorry Kaka-... I'm so sorry sensei. I wish I could have been more skilled, like Naruto. Or gifted like Sasuke. I am so so sorry." Sakura laid her hand over the silver haired man's chest. Her palm glowed brightly with green chakra and soon Kakashi stopped breathing. She had removed the jutsu that had been the only thing that kept him breathing. Without it he slowly fell into a more permanent sleep. She kept her hand there for a few monents more. Despite the cessation of his heart beat the warmth of his body still pooled around her fingertips. She stayed cradling his lifeless body until he turned cold. It was Naruto who found her later that day. Shrunken into a corner of the the room, shuddering as sobs racked through her body. It didn't take long for him to understand the cause of her grief when he noticed a white sheet covering Kakashi's body. Naruto was also the one that had escorted her home and waited patiently as she fell into a very tumultuous sleep. While Naruto broke the news to the council Sakura slept. And when she woke it was he who soothed her.

That night Uchiha Sasuke walked casually through Konaha's gates and past its unconscious guards. His eyes glittered darkly as he roamed the unlit streets, seeking an apartment with which he had once been familiar. The home of Naruto Uzamaki was silent and possibly empty, yet something compelled him to walk up the steps and knock on the door. No answer. What did he expect from an empty house, like it was going to take a message or something. "Che" This was pointless. There would be plenty of time to catch up. He might even pay a visit to his pink haired fan-girl. He chuckled quietly to himself. He did have a clan to revive after all. There was no doubt that she would be just as eager and desperate as she had been during their childhood. The only difference would be that this time he would give her precisely what she had always wanted. She was probably still a virgin too.

"Pathetic."

Sasuke spat at the thought of how weak she had been. It disgusted him. A cloud floated by and he was illuminated by the light of the moon. It was an incredibly unpleasant feeling, this feeling that he no longer belonged here. He stuck out like a sore thumb. Even the moon sensed how out of place he was. Why else would it alienate him from the others it had left in the shadows. He had been away so long that he forgot how clear the skies were. It was as if he could see heaven, he mused. It was a naive thought. If there was a heaven he wouldn't be the one to gaze upon it. His eyes fell to the door before him. What was the point of being there? He doubted that they had thought of him recently. After all they had stopped chasing him years ago. Not that he minded. He neither wanted nor needed him. His eyes fell to Naruto's door again. Why was he there?

It was late by the time Naruto made his way home. Sakura had cried herself to sleep and he had been forced to put on a brave face for her, but with each step that he got closer to his door he could feel his facade crumbling away. When he finally reached his door his bleary eyes were struggling to stay open and his shoulders slouched with sadness and exhaustion. Some inexplicable feeling of foreboding rewoke his senses.

"Long time no see, Naruto."

A voice he had prayed to never hear again. Cool to the point of mocking.

What was that saying? The one her mother would whip out anytime she would come home from work, crying of dead genins. The one that somehow seemed to harden her heart against the world, if only for a minute. Oh yes, that was it. Only fools die young. The more common saying was that the good die young, but Sakura knew that wasn't entirely true. Plenty of bad people, awful people, died young. She had examined enough corpses of corrupted twelve year olds to know that. The fact of the matter was that the good and the bad did not have predetermined deaths. Fools were not necessarily good, they were just turned an eye to because they didn't know any better.

When she stood mourning at a relatively young man's funeral, dying a little inside, she couldn't help but wonder who was the bigger fool. She or Kakashi? It was a foolish move on his part after all. He, the Hokage of Konoha, had allowed himself to be placed in a genjutsu directly after being caught in an explosion. Naruto was nearing his prime, he could have handled the situation easily enough. Or at least without sending himself into a coma. The sharingan could only protect him so much.

"It's the Hokage's duty to protect. Naruto will get his chance soon enough."

Those were his last words and wasn't it the truth. Naruto had already been nominated to fill the now empty position. His dream had finally come to fruition, and it was hard to believe that she had ever doubted him. For so many years she had pictured Sasuke returning to the village in a triumphant display of his love for her. Well there was no heroic return. He had snuck into the village under the cover of night, like a common criminal. He hadn't swept her off her feet, but then again that came as no surprise. His kisses were too aggressive. She could feel herself chocking on his tongue as he shoved it roughly into her mouth. His hands were too eager to create a false connection. His hair was too dirty and greasy, but worst of all was his smell. He smelled of blood and death, it was all she could do to keep herself from gagging. He had ripped through her in such a viscous, savage manner that she cried out. He didn't slow his pace though. Instead he contiued with renewed vigor an as she lay beneath him shuddering and in pain, he chuckled and sneered at her. Stupid girl his eyes seemed to say, 'you thought it would be any different?' For a brief moment she feared he would use his sharigan on her. Possibly even kill her, but the thought quickly passed. He needed to stay within the village if he wanted a legitimate heir. He wouldn't take that risk. Sakura had learned the hard way what kind of man Sasuke was. He wasn't going to catch her any falling stars, he wouldn't kiss her softly in the moon light, and he wouldn't promise her the big wedding she had always dreamed of. No matter how rich he was. No, Sasuke had gotten what he had wanted from her, and when he finished and dirtied her, he left her crying, alone, and naked.

The next day Sakura woke up and pulled herself out of bed and to the hospital. The lights were too bright and all her thoughts revolved around her encounter with Sasuke the night before. It was that moment that Sakura reached an epiphany. Everything around her now acted as a painful reminder of how foolish she'd been. Especially when it came to him. Lost in her thoughts, the day dragged on until finally the peachy glow of sunset washed out the sky. It was then in the fading light of the sun that a realization was found. It was like the weight of the world had been lifted and yet a million knives had been plunged into her heart in its place. She would have to leave the village and while that meant she could leave behind all of the pains she felt, it also meant that she would leave all of those people that had supported her.

Ino stood arranging flowers inside of the Yamanaka flower shop. Despite how strange it felt to consider the girl her friend, she still couldn't believe that only a few years ago she and Ino had been sworn enemies. Sakura gently pressed her hand against the glass flower shop and pushed it open. The light tinkling of the bells above the door alerted her blonde friend to her entrance and she smiled when she saw who it was.

"Hey Billboard brow."

Ino noticed that Sakura had not answered her and looked up to see the Medic nin slumped against the wall. Ino watched silently as Sakura slowly slid down the length of the wall and sat with her knees pressed to her chest. Ino pushed her bangs out of her face and came around the counter to lean down beside Sakura.

"Sakura. I know what its like to lose your sensei, but-"

"Its not that Ino."

"Then... Is it Sasuke?"

No answer. Ino knew from experience that when Sakura didn't answer it was probably because she was trying to be strong. It was a trait they shared.

"Sakura you know you can tell me."

Ino entwined her hand in Sakura's as she sat beside her. A quivering curtain of pink hid her eyes, but Ino knew that Sakura was crying.

"Ino, it hurts. It hurts so much. Sasuke, he... and I just... I'm not strong. I couldn't save Kakashi and I- I couldn't even save myself."

Both girls stayed that way, huddled together until the stars twinkled in the sky and Sakura removed herself from Ino's side and left the flower shop. Moonlight covered the Konoha skyline and weary feet carried Sakura towards the Hokage's office. There was one last person she needed to say goodbye to. He sat there in his chair. Enjoying the view that his new office offered. The way his face lit up when he turned around and saw her broke her heart. She leaned in closely and kissed him. It had only lasted a few seconds yet it seemed so much longer. The blonde was shocked to say the least. It was almost enough to make change her mind, but almost was not enough. Naruto was Hokage now and she could count on him not chasing after her like he had done with Sasuke. That alone made it easier for her to disappear. She knew she couldn't face him and not return to the village with him.

"Congratulations, Hokage-Sama."

A whisper on the wind and she was gone.

The darkened colors of the forest flew past in a long fluid stream as she sprinted through the tree tops. By the time the village awoke the next morning Sakura would only be a distant memory of the past. It was better that way. She just wanted to forget and be forgotten.

A/N: if confused read A/N 2 if not. The next chapter will be up as soon as possible


	8. Part 8

What could he say? What was there to be said? The long history between team seven was muddled and twisted. It had always been that way and it had always been destined to be that way. From the the day that Uchiha Madara fought with the first Hokage in the Valley of The End all of their fates had been sealed. Naruto and Sasuke were two identical lines, each approaching infinity from opposite ends of a spectrum. One day they would crash into each other, head first. This was a fact that had always been accepted and embraced by Naruto. Sasuke was his responsibility and if that meant that neither of them would make it out alive he would be fine with that. But at that moment something within him felt ungrounded. He had long ago reconciled himself with the mutually assured destruction of both he and his former brother, but he had never factored in anyone else's fate. Least of all Sakura's. The idea that Sakura's destiny was as predetermined and tragic as his had never so much as crossed his mind. After all he was the chosen one. He was the one who had to make things better. No matter what the cost. Not her. Not Sakura. So why was she in his room, in his arms, crying on his shoulder? Why would she have had to suffer such sadness as she had? It was unnatural. It was wrong. It was so, so wrong. Suddenly the room around them shrunk and spun. It was nauseating. This had never been part of the plan and yet it had happened. It was becoming more and more clear to Naruto that, unlike what he had once believed, everyone would pay the price for Sasuke's sins. The past four years had proven that.

"Sakura... Why didn't you tell me? You know that if I had known I would have... I would have-"

"You would have what Naruto? Fought Sasuke? Gotten yourself killed? It wasn't worth it."

"It wasn't worth it." Those words. like a match thrown onto a puddle of gasoline, it ignited something deep within Naruto. A deep seated well of emotions erupted from within him all at once.

"That's not for you to decide Sakura. I'm the Hokage. Or did you forget? Beyond our friendship I have a duty to protect the people in this village. What about Hanabi? Don't you think she deserved to know the kind of man Sasuke was? Her death is on your hands!"

Sakura looked up abruptly. Her eyes were scared and frightened as Naruto's words sunk in. She shook her head furiously and disheveled pink locks blocked her vision. Her hand had been lingering on his shoulder, but now slid off dejectedly.

"Naruto, you knew what kind of man Sasuke was when he came back to the village. You've known since the Valley of The End. You just chose not to believe it. I knew too, but... How can you say it was only my fault?"

She backed away and Naruto couldn't help but feel like he was watching a movie in slow motion. The next few seconds blurred and soon she was gone. A sickening silence fell over the empty room.

He was going insane. He had know for quite some time now. It became obvious when he began to have the "delusions" as he called them. Sometimes Itachi would appear to him and they would talk, then he would remember that he had killed Itachi many years ago. The funny thing was that it didn't bother him one bit. Why should he care if he was slightly off of his rocker? He never did any harm to himself. There were even times when Hanabi would be there, she would stare at him, just stare. She knew how it infuriated him to have her there. Did she not understand that he felt no guilt over what he had done to her? The part of him that felt any of those emotions died along time ago. Maybe at one point he could have had his happy family, but she had jeopardized that when she ran away. He knew the minute he pried Daisuke from her cold, lifeless arms that he would be doomed to a life of loneliness. Then again hadn't he always been?

Even as a young boy Sasuke had known that he was... different. His family was rich and powerful, his brother was a genius, and he, wel,l he couldn't keep those stupid little girls away from him. It was obvious that Sasuke Uchiha was far from living a life of normalcy, though he had never once considered that these differences could prove to be problematic. It was not until four years later as wandered around a small village, where no one knew his face, that he realized how much like a cookie his life had turned out to be. Take one blood trait family planning a coup, one murderous brother who couldn't bear to kill you, two scoops of your own ambition, a man determined to lead you astray, mix in your teammates who couldn't let go, and let it bake for twenty-one years. In the end you would get whatever he was, a kook or a cookie, however you chose to look at it.

It wasn't shocking that he had been so easy to lead astray and now he would pay the price. He was being followed wherever he went. He could see the shadows that would follow behind him closely before disappearing at the turn of his head. He wasn't stupid, he had known for quite sometime now that they were after him. Those damn snakes. Well it didn't matter if they stalked him for two days or twenty years because he had won. Their beloved master was dead, and he had the honors of killing him. He had done what the great Hokages couldn't, slay Orochimaru. The idiot had it coming to him anyway. Did he honestly think that Sasuke would just willingly hand over his body to him? What a fool.

Unfortunately Sasuke now saw the snakes wherever he went. When his back was turned he saw their shadows. When he looked at himself in the mirror, he saw their reflections. And when he slept at night he saw them strangling his body until the life, and his breath, seeped out of him. Who said you can't die in a dream?

Still not even dreaming of his own murder could disturb him. The only things that bothered him, these days, were their faces. The way the pink one cried as he took her, the way the blonde's face held both rage and sorrow as he looked upon the deceased Hanabi. He had tried, and nearly succueeded, to forget their names, useless information. However their faces were a different story completely. Their faces were etched into his mind, burned into all forms of conscious thought. His waking hours were often spent simply trying to picture them wearing faces of indifference, but they would not relent. They would not allow him to forget the pain he had brought them. Perhaps that was why he so much welcomed the oncoming insanity. He knew that in insanity lay an escape from all that he had done and all that he couldn't do. What should he care if he could no longer state his name, or tell who was a real person and who was a figment of his imagination? Seeing was believing after all. Maybe if he was crazy and he saw Hanabi he would kiss her, and treat her the way a wife should have been treated, maybe he wouldn't recognize her at all. If Itachi appeared it was possible that, for once, he wouldn't remember the way he had ignored his brothers dying declaration. There were numerous possibilities. But the best one yet was the chance that he would forget he had a son. That way he would no longer regret the way he had destroyed the life of his son, the same way his father had destroyed his. He had finally been given the heir he had been so desperate for and now he wasn't even allowed within miles of him. How ironic. Instead that bastard, Naruto, would be raising his son. Teaching his kid techniques that Sasuke didn't use. Hell. He wouldn't be surprised if Daisuke grew up believing that Naruto was his real father. Sasuke's only solace was that you could not fight genetics. The Uchiha clan had been popping out crazed killers and men who sought to take over or destroy the world for hundreds of years. Why should Daisuke be any different? Even Itachi, who loved his village, had massacred his family and joined a league of terrorist. He was sure Naruto would have his hands full.

The sun had begun to set on the small village and Sasuke considered killing the village people. The last thing he needed was one of them to get wise and recognize his face from one of the many wanted posters bearing his face. Though it didn't seem like a single one of them was the slightest bit interested in him. In fact the only two people he noticed who weren't elderly were couple. A man with brown hair that shot up into green spikes and a woman with long strawberry blonde tresses and large grey eyes. Her bangs were pushed to the side of her face and she really shared no resemblance, yet Sasuke couldn't help but stare. She almost reminded him of someone he once knew. What was her name again, the pink one? Something to do with a flower. Oh yes Sakura.

How easily he remembered them after forgetting them for so long. Their name slowly began to return to his memory. Naruto and Sakura. The two people who single handedly managed to make him feel anything about what he had done to them. That was no small feat. He hadn't felt anything in so long it took him a while to identify what he was feeling. Guilt. He watched the a girl as she smiled and laughed with her male companion. Had Sakura been that way with him before? He didn't remember. She had a crush on him once, but it was ill conceived and probably replaced by a better one. Naruto had taken everything else from him afterall. His son, his status in the village. Sakura could have been his, at one time. But no, Naruto had probably stolen away her affections as soon as he left the village. The last memory he held of the pinkette was the way her silvery tears shone in the moonlight. This mixed with her ivory skin made her look so pretty. The sorrow he saw in her eyes had to be the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

It was odd, the effect all of this recollection had on him. He almost missed Sakura, or at least the way her body felt wrapped around his. She was perhaps the only woman who could have ever loved him. That had of course changed. She more than likely hated him by now.

His eyes followed the every movement of the stranger and it appeared that the man she was with was leaving. Her feet made there way delicately up a flight stairs to an old and weathered apartment, and Sasuke found himself following behind her. The sound of a door unlocking and closing called out to him. His mind filled with images of Sakura. The last time he saw her she had been letting her hair grow out. It could be just as long if not longer than the girls in the apartment. It had been so long since he had known the comfort of a woman that he began to consider opening her door. And as he approached her door his mind began to race. She would probably put up a fight, until he demonstrated exactly how strong he was. It would be easy. Suddenly out of the corner of his eye Sasuke noticed the glint of a forehead protector in the sunlight. It was engraved with a leaf. Scowling he disappeared. It was too soon for the Leaf to know of his whereabouts.


	9. Part 9

The next morning Naruto lay on his back and stared up at the white infinity of his ceiling. Somewhere in the space between the ceiling and his eyes he could see the scene from the night before replay itself. It made him cringe. He had never meant to place all that blame on her. Deep down he did feel guilty about allowing Sasuke back into the village, but the thought of Sasuke and Sakura together had pushed him over the edge. After all the time that had passed it seemed he still had feelings for Sakura. Something that bothered him. He thought he had moved past that. Unrequited love was for children. That was something he had come to realize and accept long ago. So why was it that now, after all this time, did he still feel jealousy seep into the pit of his stomach when he thought of the way Sasuke still had an effect on Sakura? Part of him still felt every bit the child still longing for her to turn her gaze from Sasuke. Pushing Sakura to the back of his mind, Naruto rose from his bed to face the day. It was more dufficult than he remembered. Trying not to think about her. Possibly because in the past he had used her smiling face as inspiration to push himself. Now her face was a distraction.

Sakura woke to find herself on the floor of Daisuke's room. The presence of pain shooting into her back from her position on the floor served little to distract from the pain she still felt from the night before. Naruto blamed her. He blamed her for everything. Knowing that he saw Hanabi's death as her fault killed her. It was like losing the single guiding light she had left. He was partly right of course. Instead of alerting Naruto to Sasuke's latent aggression, she had chosen to run. Instead of being brave when she should have been, she had been a coward and had protected only herself. Had she told Naruto about her encounter with Sasuke she knew that Naruto would have kicked him out of the village. So why had she kept quiet? It was a question that haunted her. She had asked it herself many times, but never got any closer to an answer. Her attention turned to Daisuke and she saw that he was fast asleep. Seemingly unaware of her intrusion. Silently, she pushed herself up from the floor and crept out the door. After her conversation with Naruto she had run into Daisuke's room and fallen asleep. Now it was morning and the memory of the night before made her head hurt. Finally pushing herself from her seated position on the floor, Sakura crept out of Daisuke's room and closed the door noiselessly behind her before checking both directions in the hall for the very last person she wanted to see right now. Not seeing him, she heaved a sigh of relief.

She had made it a few steps down the stairway when Naruto emerged from the kitchen. Sakura turned her head away first and hurried down the stairs before ducking into the kitchen herself. Naruto stood staring at the place on the stairs that Sakura had previously been standing before he continued on his own way up. She wasn't talking to him. It figured. He hadn't really known what he had been expecting her to do. After all, just the night before he had accused her of causing Hanabi's death. It just felt as if the friendship they had been trying to save had been blown apart again. Not only did they no longer understand each other, they no longer trusted each other. The Sakura who had been staying in his house, taking care of his son,was a stranger to him. Now and then he would catch glimpses of the old her, but for the most part this Sakura was unrecognizable. He wondered if she felt the same way about him. The thought made him laugh. He probably had changed as much as she had. He'd had to change when he became Hokage.

Sakura had waited until she heard the front door slide close behind Naruto to come out of the kitchen. It made her feel entirely childish, but she didn't think she could hold herself together if she ran into him unexpectedly again. She made her way back up the stairs to Daisuke's room and found the young boy standing in his crib, staring at her expectantly. She smiled when she saw him. He was probably the only person in the whole village, besides Ino, who actually liked her. Unfortunately for her, Hinata had requested that Daisuke stay with her for the day. Ever since the reunion in Naruto's office, it seemed like Hinata had been requesting more and more time with Daisuke. She probably didn't want Sakura around him. Sakura didn't typically mind giving up Daisuke, but she was dreading having to spend the day alone. She scooped Daisuke into her arms and soon they were walking the streets to the Hyuga compound. As they neared the gates to the massive complex a call rang out and the doors slid open before Sakura. Immediately milky eyed Hyuga women rushed out to where she stood and removed Daisuke from her arms. Before she knew it the gates were closed and she stood alone outside of the Hyuga home. Turning away, Sakura headed to the one place she knew she'd be welcomed.

The Yamanaka flower shop seemed to have avoided the aging process unlike many of the shops around it. It stood exactly the same as the day she saw it last. A day she was still trying to forget. Taking a deep breath, Sakura turned her face from the curious gazes of those around her and hurried inside. Behind the counter a mousy haired girl watched Sakura with the alertness of a ninja. Sakura wasn't surprised that the girl would react that way. She had probably heard the rumors about the pink hair fugitive that was attempting to worm her way into the Hokage's heart. After watching her for awhile, the girl turned on her heel and walked behind the curtain leading to the back room of the flower ship. Sakura could hear the furtive whispers and rustling of an apron when Ino appeared from behind the counter.

"I don't know who you are but Riiki thinks you're scary so..."

Ino stopped short upon seeing Sakura. She blinked slowly before her face broke into a smile.

"Riiki, get out here!"

Upon hearing her name being called the girl re-emerged from behind the curtain and peered nervously between the two women. Ino crossed her arms and fixed her with a scolding look.

"Riiki, please show me where this 'extremely scary fugitive ninja' is."

Riiki lifted a shaking finger and pointed it accusingly towards Sakura.

"Th-there."

She said, making sure to avoid eye contact with Sakura. Ino let out an exasperated sigh.

"Riiki, don't you know who this is?"

Riiki's brown head bobbed up and down enthusiastically.

"I do, I do."

Suddenly all the hesitance left Riiki's body as she rummaged through the pouch on her hip. Eventually a crumpled picture was pulled forth from the bag and Riiki held it up proudly for both women to see. It was a wanted poster of Sakura. She was scowling, and seemed to be a bit more masculine looking, but other than that, it was an excellent likeness.

"Give me that."

No sooner had Ino snatched the picture from the girls hands than it had been shredded into many pieces and lay scattered on the floor of the flower shop.

Ino walked over to Sakura and slid an arm around her shoulders.

"This is the woman who saved Techi's life."

Ino declared boldly, obviously proud of her friend. Riiki raised an eyebrow at Sakura and looked her over in disbelief before scoffing.

"Yeah right. That was the old Head medic nin. She left four years ago..."

Riiki's eyes went round with disbelief. She took a few cautious steps from behind the counter and came forward to clasp Sakura's hand in hers.

"You? You're the one who saved my brother? All the other medics told my parents that the brain damage was too much, but you... You saved his life."

Beside her, Ino chuckled and gave Sakura an approving pat on the back.

"Yep. That was Sakura alright. Konoha's Chief Medic Nin."

Sakura removed her hand from Riiki's and pulled away from Ino. Her face darkened with some hidden emotion.

"That's former Chief Ino. And don't forget about the one that I couldn't save."

Riiki looked back and forth between Ino and Sakura, searching for some clue as to what Sakura could be talking about, but found Ino lightly pushing her towards the counter again."

"Riiki, go take inventory of the new Hydrangeas."

Disappointed to be cut out of an obviously juicy story, Riiki scowled as she was sent back behind the curtain to allow Ino and Sakura their privacy.

Ino had just opened her mouth to lecture her friend, when the door to her shop was pushed open and Shikamaru entered the store. His typical melancholy expression remain unaffected by the tense air of the room and he turned his attention to Sakura.

"Naruto wants to speak to you."

"No."

Sakura said matching his stare directly and frowned to further her point.

"Its not a request. It's an order from your Hokage."

Shikamaru's back had straightened and his voiced raised to match Sakura's unflinching glare.

"I don't care. I don't have Daisuke today. I'm not going to speak to him. If he wants me. He can come find me."

They remained I their staring match when Shikamaru blinked his eyes sleepily and slouched his shoulders. Fine suit yourself. Just remember what your answer was when he really does come to find you. He nodded in Ino's direction and then left the two alone.

Ino looked at Sakura incredulously.

"What's wrong with you? I thought you were trying to save your friendship with Naruto, not break it even further."

Sakura only looked sadly towards Ino before making her way to the door

"Its too late for that."

She left both the blonde and the spying Riiki confused as she shut the door behind her.

Sakura continued down the street lost in her own thoughts before she found herself embraced by warmth and on the inside of what appeared to be a yellow tornado. It didn't take long for her to figure out what had happened and she began to furiously kick her feet.

"Naruto! Put me down!"

Immediately after she spoke those words, Sakura regretted saying them as she was unceremoniously dropped onto a rock-hard surface. The top of Hokage mountain it seemed. Sakura could feel her temperature rising and her rage bubbled forth. She was on her feet nearly as quickly as she had been drooped and before he could dodge her, Sakura held two fistfuls of Naruto's Hokge robes.

"What the hell do you think you're doing right now!"

She had roared it nearly loud enough for those below to hear, but some how Naruto had still managed to crack a smile.

"Geez Sakurra. You don have to holler so loud. I'm -hiccup- righ here."

Naruto giggled and slumped, held up solely by Sakura's strength. Her face wrinkled in disgust and she dropped him onto the same stone she had previously been dropped onto.

"You're drunk."

She spat angrily. Only to have Naruto grin wider in response.

"So? Sometimez is beder to be drun."

Sakura was struggling to control her temper could barely contain her voice as she yelled t him.

"Is this some kind of joke? You sic Shikamaru on me and drag me up here because you're drunk?!"

Despite the obvious anger in her voice Naruto broke out into an even bigger fit of giggles. Rather than getting up, he rolled onto his back and stared up at Sakura with half lidded eyes.

"Di you mizz me?"

His slurred words spilled out of his mouth barely intelligible, but Sakura froze at the implication. Not getting a response, Naruto dragged himself up from the ground, teetering in front of her.

"I say... Di you mizzzz meeee?"

Seeing that Sakura was going to remain unresponsive, Naruto turned and began to swagger towards the edge of the mountain.

"I dint mizz you, yah know. If you had lef an time befo I became Hokage I would've. I - I... Would've. At Ichiraku's, on team 7's old trainin grous, on mizzons, visitin Tsunade's grave... Evry second of evry day. I would've mizzed you. But I dint mizz you when you lef. Do ya know why? I dint mizz you because I NEEDED you. I needed you there Sakura. When I became Hokage I was scare. Kakashi ha jus died, Sasuke ha come back, and you... Even you, who ha alwayz, alwayz been calm and level headeded, were fallin apar in my hanz. Nothing was working ou in my personal life and then I was supozz to make it work for the lives of eryone in the village? Ever sinze my first day as a genin you been there. And then all of the sudden... You just weren Do ya know wha that was like? You lef when I needed you most."

She wasn't quite sure if he was still addressing her, or if he had actually turned his frustrations on the wind, but se decided to respond to him.

"And what about what I needed Naruto? What about me? I couldn't stand it anymore. You're right, I was falling apart and I was trying to make you hold me together. I couldn't do that to you anymore. I needed you too, but I couldn't have you because you weren't mine, you belonged to the village. As Hokage."

Naruto chuckled to himself. A mirthless drunken sound that reverberated hollow within him. It made Sakura wince to hear it and she turned her back to him. She could hear when he stumbled from his perch and began to walk towards her. She smelt the alcohol on his breath before she felt it trickle warmth against her neck, but she remained still.

"Do ya still nee me Zakura?"

He tried whispering to her. She pulled away then, but he caught her shoulder lightly in one hand and held on just tightly enough to still her.

"I said, do you still need me Sakura?"

He repeated more sternly, the drunken slur being completely gone from his speech now made her wonder if he had even been drunk to begin with. He scared her. It scared her. Needing him. She had always needed him, but she had also always fought that need. It made her feel weak. She turned to face him, trembling.

"Do you still need me, Naruto?"

His face was serious. A look that she wasn't used to seeing on him. But it comforted her somehow. His eyes leveled with hers.

"Yes."

At that moment Sakura couldn't move. She stood stunned at his words and before she knew it Naruto had pulled her into a strong embrace.

"Always."

He whispered into her hair. Tears slid down Sakura's face and she clung to him. The moment lasted only seconds before Sakura heard a poof and found only a shuriken attached to a piece of paper where Naruto had previously been. She looked around before bending down to read the note.

"Room 303 Konoha hospital, from Naruto."


	10. Part 10

The scene that lay waiting for Sakura in room 303 was like something from her worst nightmares. Medic nins rushed in and out of the crowded room, all frantically shouting orders to one another. Before her their patient was motionless as they tended to his wounds. Even in an unconscious state, Naruto's hair poked out in all directions. She took a shaky step into the doorway, careless of the nins shouting for her to move until she felt a hand on her shoulder that finally pulled her out of the way. When she turned to see who had pulled her she was met with a familiar pair of brown eyes.

"Shizune?"

Sakura could only stare dumbfounded at the woman before her. The last time she had seen Shizune, the older woman was informing her that she had decided to turn down the position of Chief Medic and would go on an extended traveling mission instead. That had been the day after Tsunade had died, six years ago. Shizune had aged very little and still had a somewhat mischievous sparkle in her eye. It was like no time had passed at all. Seeing Sakura's confusion, Shizune took it upon herself to speak.

"Glad to see you finally got over your fears of the hospital Sakura"

She said with a playful smirk. Sakura's face darkened and she turned away. Her was expression unreadable, but for her downcast eyes. It was a Sakura different from the one she remembered. She placed a gentle hand on the younger nin's shoulder.

"Does it still hurt so much, Sakura? Do you still blame yourself for-"

Sakura stiffened under her grasp and Shizune withdrew her hand.

"He asked for you, you know."

Shizune said matter of factly as she gestured towards the unconscious Hokage in the hospital room next to them.

"He was practicing a new jutsu he's been working on, but his head wasn't in it. He ruptured most of his internal organs, broke a few ribs, and he punctured his right lung so there's a fair amount of internal bleeding. His lung is filling up with blood so fast, he can barely breathe. Even still, he said that no one was to heal him until you came. He said 'I want Sakura-chan to be the one to heal me, so nobody better touch me until she gets here.' We induced a coma, using genjutsu, in order to stabilize him just before you got here. Right now they're trying to stop some of external bleeding."

Sakura's eyes widened in disbelief. Naruto had been seriously injured and he had still demanded that she heal him. Not only that, but he had managed to send her a shadow clone while he was injured. She would have been seriously impressed if she wasn't so angry.

"Why on Earth would you agree to do something like that? What if I didn't come? What if I refused to operate on him?"

Shizune shrugged and turned to face the room.

"He's the Hokage and he gave an order. Besides, you are here and you will operate. Won't you?"

Sakura also turned to face the room. She watched as various medic nins stitched his wounds and tried to stop the bleeding before she let out a deep sigh. She rolled up her sleeves and took a step into the room. Parting the crowd of nins as she made her way to Naruto's side. Her hands shook as she pressed her palms to Naruto's chest.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

She said nothing as she wordlessly slid her hands along his chest to hover above his bleeding lung. She allowed her chakra to seep forward and into his body, concentrating on the feeling of his lung tissue beginning to heal. It was such a familiar feeling to heal someone. She had almost forgotten how much she had loved it. The warmth of his skin mingled with the warmth of her chakra as his ribs began to mend as well and she smiled. Naruto had even halted the Kyuubi's normal healing it seemed. Whispers rose from the gathering crowd of medics as they watched her work. The other nins had ceased all of their healing efforts and instead stared transfixed while the newcomer healed their Hokage with the skill and efficiency that they had only known to be possessed by Lady Tsunade.

"Towel."

The crowd went silent at the sound of the mysterious medic's voice. Only one dared to speak up.

"H-Haruno-sama?"

She didn't answer. She didn't even acknowledge that she had heard the man's voice. Shizune stepped into the room and spoke.

"Why are you asking her name? Don't you know the name of Konoha's Chief Medic nin, Haurno Sakura? She asked for a towel."

No one moved and finally Shizune reached for a towel and dabbed the sweat from Sakura's face, before turning to glare at the motionless medics.

"How dare you treat the Chief Medic with such disrespect? Do you know how-"

Sakura's hand on Shizune's arm halted the angry tirade.

"Its alright Shizune-san. Everyone is just surprised to see me, right? I'm sure no one expected to see me so soon. If you're angry, I understand. There is no need to be respectful. I haven't been your chief for four years."

As Sakura stood before the group of nins no one spoke. They stared silently at Sakura, some with obvious anger written on their faces. Shizune spoke up once again.

"Alright. Now that you've all gotten your fill of awkward staring, get back to work. Someone bring the Hokage out of his coma. The rest of you, get out of my sight."

Shizune's command sent the nins scattering. She almost felt pleased with her ability to scare them until she noticed Sakura's absence. Her heart pounded as she raced for the door, afraid that it would be another year before they could convince Sakura to heal anyone again. She was running through a mental list of all Sakura's favorite hiding spots when she saw the weary woman seated outside of Naruto's hospital room. Her legs were drawn up to her chest and her chin was rested on her knees. She had wrapped her arms around her herself and was staring blankly at the floor.

"I thought I'd lost you again."

Shizune said, while she moved to sit beside her friend.

"There's nowhere left for me to go. Besides, Naruto's not awake yet. What if I…"

Shizune scoffed at this.

"What if you what? Accidentally attached his foot to his hand? You know and I know that operation was flawless. If anything, you proved that you are more than capable of having your job back."

"No. You're the one who's best for the job."

It was Shizune's turn to sigh. The older woman slumped against the wall and brought her own knees to rest against her chest.

"Do you know why I turned them down when they asked me to be Chief Medic? It's because I knew that you would surpass me sooner than I would ever have been able to adjust to the position. There was no point in fighting it. You were so gifted that it seemed silly to take the position just because I was older."

"Me, gifted? Haha that's funny."

Shizune's frustration boiled over. It was all she could do not to smack the Kunoichi seated next to her.

"I've had it with this whining! You were the youngest Chief Medic Konoha has ever had. There isn't a medic nin that I've ever met as talented as you, except for Lady Tsunade herself. Even she was 24 when she got the job."

"But it's my fault. If I had been better, then…"

Sizune leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes.

"Do you honestly think you're the only one who feels guilty? Naruto let him fight those S class nins alone. I'm sure he feels guilty too. Even I feel it. There's not a day that goes by that I don't wonder what would've happened if I hadn't gone on that mission, if I had been here to help you, instead of trying to run away from my problems. I never told anyone, but Kakashi asked me not to go. He- he begged me, but I was too lost in my own sadness to consider his feelings at the time. My biggest regret is leaving, and I'm sure that yours is too."

Sakura turned to face Shizune, unable to believe what she had heard.

"Shizune, I never knew about you and Kakashi-sensei."

Shizune chuckled as she rose from her sitting position and stretched her back.

"No one did. Could you imagine how embarrassing it would be if people knew I was in love with a pervert?"

She wrinkled her nose in mock disgust. Sakura glanced into the room and Shizune raised an eyebrow suggestively.

"Hmm well maybe you can."

She chuckled as she walked away, waving a hand behind her as she went.

Sakura considered what Shizune said. Leaving was her biggest regret and she hadn't even given Naruto a chance to ask her not to go. Getting up from the floor she stepped cautiously into his now empty room and closed the door behind her. She couldn't help but smile at seeing the drool run down his chin and his hair flop in his face. Even after a major operation, sleeping Naruto was still sleeping Naruto. Her fingers gently brushed the hair from his face, when his hand rose and caught her wrist.

"Did you close the door so we could have some private alone time?"

He spoke sleepily; face breaking into a devilish grin.

"No. I did it so the whole hospital wouldn't have to be subjected to your snoring."

She deadpanned.

His eyes popped open at this and he fixed her with his best puppy dog pout.

"You're cruel Sakura-chan. When will you admit that you've finally fallen for my charm?"

She nearly choked at this and struggled to sputter a denial.

"Who- who said… I- I haven't."

He released her wrist and smiled at her.

"I was only joking Sakura. Geez, I'm starting to think I'm right though."

"Baka"

She said lightly tapping his forehead, smiling in spite of herself.

"If I'm right, will you come back as the Chief Medic?"

The smile fell from her face and she moved away from him. Naruto frowned.

"Is it really too much to ask?"

She looked at him. His blue eyes widened with concern for her. Always for her. Even in a hospital bed he cared about her.

"Naruto, I'm not ready."

"Of course you are. You're just afraid. If you don't come back, I'll make sure to wind up in the hospital everyday and have only you heal me until you comeback. "

Looking at the determined expression on his face, she found herself smiling again. She could feel her resolve weakening.

"I guess I don't have much of a choice then."

She said with a reluctant grin. Naruto took her hand in his.

"I know I haven't said it in a long time, but… I still love you Sakura. I never stopped really. I don't need a response, but I want you to know because… Because Hinata asked me to marry her and I-"

"Don't."

Naruto wasn't sure what he had heard. It had sounded like Sakura had said something, but he had been too caught up in his confession to really hear. Sakura had blurted it out so suddenly, even she had to question what she said, and why she said it.

"What did you say?"

The words were unmistakable this time.

"I can't promise you anything right now, but don't marry her Naruto. Please."

His hand tightened around hers.

"Okay."

On the other side of the door a tear fell. Hinata was vaguely aware that she was crying but, she couldn't bring herself to turn away. It was over. She had lost. Again. Once again Sakura had managed to swoop in and take Naruto from her. It was unfair. It was so unfair. She had loved Naruto for most of her life. She had always supported him, stood up for him, fought for him. Through it all she had been there for him, especially when Sakura hadn't. When Sakura had left the village suddenly, leaving Naruto with only a kiss, it was Hinata who had been there. It was Hinata who had spoken to the elders about Sasuke's arrival and had convinced them to only put him on house arrest. Even though she knew Sasuke had no business being in the village, it was what Naruto wanted so she made it happen. It was Hinata who voted against putting Sasuke to death and suggested banishing him instead, even though he had killed her sister. It was all for him. Despite all of that it had taken mere seconds for Sakura to speak the words that would rip away her dreams of marrying Naruto. Hinata had almost begged him. All Sakura had to say was "don't".


End file.
